Ran Before The Storm

Dear Juan David :3,

Ran Before the Storm

            I don’t know how to begin this letter. There is only one thing that I know, and that is PAIN in my heart. Three letters and one word is always running in my head and asking myself “WHY?”. I remember you told me “it is like we are destroying stereotypes about time, space and age” I believe you on that… BUT you gave up on that belief. Three months that I believing you love me, three months that I shared my life to you, three months full of joys and tears, three months wishing that you and me we will meet someday but everything is become a nightmare.

            I woke up every day that everything is just fine after we broke apart and pretend that I am alright but deep inside I felt the rumbling emotions. Many of my friends are just asking if I alright, they just see me staring on the window and thinking deeply. Every night I cried and I always feeling the pain that you left me. You let me die in our battlefield. You let go my hand while we are fighting our problem. I bleed so in my heart. I am too in love with you but you let me go. It is just feels we are in the game but you let me loose on it. Every day is excruciating, living today is sacrificing. Where do I begin? Where I can find myself? I am in the dark looking for the star to be my guide. I am walking on the desert that looking for water. Most of all, I am alone without you.

          

  You told me that I need to understand the fact that we must end our relationship because the long distance relationship is not will be successful. You said that the more we wait to see ourselves in long period of time is the more we suffer. Juandy how we can know if we don’t fight for our love? How we can know if it is love if you don’t trust in our love story. I ask your brother if you love me, he said you love me but you’ve doubt in your heart, though he said I should need to trust. So I trust you but you have shaken your trust. In your age is easy to let go the someone or something in your life that you know that someone or something will come and replace something new. It easy to your part that you let me go. BUT It is not easy part of me to let you go in my age, I appreciate a lot of you especially when you love someone that you know is really meant for you. You are not only the one who felt need to your personal presence. I want your personal presence too, but I keep fighting to my emotions because I believe someday that you and I will meet and we will be together. But in just one snap of your finger everything is losing apart. You made a storm and you let me drown in your being cynical. I just thinking so being in three months in our relationship is full of pretending and lies? In my part, I just been true of you but I don’t know in your part if you have been true and loyal with me. Loving you deepest is truly amazing but the consequence is really agonizing.

For your information, Juandy I am listening two songs while I am doing this my last love letter to you. One is Ran Before the Storm and Second is My Heart Will Go On.

Every night in my dreams

I see you, I feel you

That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance

And spaces between us

You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you’re here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never let go ‘til we’re gone

Love was when I loved you

One true time I hold to

In my life we’ll always go on

You’re here, there’s nothing I fear

And I know that my heart will go on

We’ll stay forever this way

You are safe in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

            One day I asked my friend, “how can I love the person. If in myself, I do not how to define love.” They told me I just forget you and learn to love again. I don’t want to love anybody. I want you but you hurt me. I am thinking that guy you told me about it, thinking that you love him rather than me. He is so lucky that he captivated you heart, while me is just simple internet boyfriend. You shut off your connection with me and you find your connection with him. I am so depressed that I cannot give you what you want, you are so far away with me. I am feel so pathetic with me how I am so simple guy that nothing can give to his boyfriend. Letters, phone call, messages it is not very enough to feel my presence. I want to touch you, really I am. I want to hug you, I want to kiss you, I want to pinch your nose and I want to hold your hands, forever… but it is only a dream. Dreaming that you and me will become happily boyfriend.

            I told you that August is very special for me, and you asked me why. You told me that August is just simple month. I would like to tell you that August is special for me because of YOU. Because this is the month of your birthday, I thought it would be special to me but I am wrong. August 2, 2016 here in Philippine you hurt me and you broke my heart, August month is very painful month for me.

            August 2, 2016 the day was very gray and cold. The sky was so glum and sullen. The moment I cried on the phone call with you it was the moment that sky was sobbing. Before everything we decide to broke apart. I was walking on the corridor that I heard music from far away. I got goose bump L … I heard the song “My Heart Will Go On”…. That night I ran, ran, ran, ran before the storm (sobbing) L

“There is no possible explanation I can give you, to make you understand how happy I am to have you on my life. I am so grateful for you, Raymond Manliguez Verana… it is stronger than any of our problems. You have earned a place in my heart forever. I love you, my boyfriend…Oh God, I really do.”- Juan David

“You are the one of a kind to speak me, as I worth you eye to eye like the two times colourful is a tough to discover. From this day and from the day we forward. You and I always be ACROSS FRIENDSHIP.” – Raymond

God only know how much more I do love you. Thank you for everything, really I am. If our destiny will meet again and If I see you on that day in a very strange day and circumstances and you don’t have boyfriend or husband. I will tell you… I will love you and I will marry you that day. This day, I promise to live again and make a new chapter of my life without you. I am glad that someJUAN like you had been a great love story of mine. That nothing in this world can stop me to love you again. I wish, I am not very old when we meet… remember always, my zombie…

Te amo con todo mi corazon, Juan David.

Goodbye for our love

And loving you endlessly,

Raymond Verana -_-

P.S.

Warm Hug, Three kisses, Biting your tongue, Pinching your nose and Whispering softly to you ear “till we meet again” … <3