When you happened

When you happened

Isn’t it awesome when your life gets an unexpected turn?

I was thirteen when I admitted that I was gay. It was far from a happy day when I told this to one of my closest friend. I cried, but I felt relied because I knew that, after some years of denial and struggle with acceptance, somebody understood me.

I LOVE YOU JUAN DAVID

I have been waiting for some good time to know what it feels to love and be loved… I have been waiting for someone to treat me with love and confidence in a world that seems so wrong in my eyes. I have been close to start a relationship two times before, but I don’t know why, things didn’t seem to work out well for me. I have been used for that purpose of “one kiss only” and I have been the sexuality confusion of one of my heterosexual friends. That’s the only love I have had. I have been raised in a society where you start having relationship at a very early age, so I felt alone, while almost all of my friends were in a relationship. I kept asking to myself: is anyone out there that will fall in love with me, one day? …but I had nothing more than my own presence every day. I let this affect my happiness, my self-love, my confidence. I was in dark places, in a depression mood. I have always been a happy and lovely person inside, but I had to get myself through this with a little help from my friends and my family.

Then you happened, and everything changed on me. From where do I start

How long to wait for this?

explaining to you, how much do I love you? We met each other in a very weird way, but I am glad we did. I can’t explain how afraid I get from thinking that I could have not commented in that streaming of the Game of Thrones premiere and then, you wouldn’t have sent me that friendship request. If we didn’t have done that, we both would have never met. That said, you are the most special man to me, and I can’t be more grateful with you for this little time that we have shared.Whenever I am in school, I start to miss you, because here, every man is so rude, and that left me no choice than being a little rude too, because I have to defend myself. But everything is so different with you; with you, I believe in love, I believe in kindness, I believe in coincidences…I even started to believe a little in God. I love you, my babe. I love you. A love that transcends space and time, a love that I can feel across the sea, a love that I can feel through hour different cultures, a love that I can feel through our different languages. You are the man I dream to meet one day, and I keep looking forward for what life has for us too. You are so precious to me. I see you on the brightness of the sun. I see you on the grace of the moon.

I'm waiting for you

How would I have guessed some weeks ago that I was going to meet someone as lovely as you? You are the best, seriously. I love you.

By: your boyfriend.

Brokeback Mountain (A synopsis)

Brokeback Mountain (A synopsis)

By Raymond Verana

You made my heart as a lonely hunter man in the mountain. I’m right here waiting for you, sitting beside next to me.  –Raymond Verana (telling these words to Juancho).

Here is my synopsis how briskly appearances the two characters: Jack and Ennis. It made me moved to the unexpectedly significance of the two on how they love brought to the Brokeback Mountain. Ennis is getting married to Alma and Jack is a lovely boy. Who knows what will be happened and how they life is getting tough and rough. After the stunning story they made in mountain. This is what happened:

•   Because of the silly cold on the mountain, Jack inviting Ennis to make love to him that night. The fact they really bad wanted it.
•  It is possible between two boys the connection of the weirdo feelings. Ennis want to escape his life and Jack is ready to be the place of world Ennis. They accepted who they are.
• Ennis get lonely while Jack is riding a car away for him. He cried. (This is the awkward feeling he felt, he cried because he found that Jack is a mystery pieces in his life).
• They have missed each other. The only Brokeback Mountain is the only place they can live happily. Jack wants to build a relationship to Ennis to be with him for the rest of his life but Ennis refuse it because of his situation. In the end, Ennis realize it he need Jack into his life after he died.
• The both characters never telling the words “I LOVE YOU”. The fact is they’ve been waiting who will tell this.

This for Juan David Hernandez:

I am now in love with you, but the distance and the boundary is against with us. I wanted you there on Brokeback Mountains. YOU AND ME.

I wanted you to be my boyfriend.

I wanted you to be my husband.

I wanted you to be marry with me.

I wanted of a high-altitude every night.

I wanted to travel the world together with you.

I wanted you to be part of ME.

I wanted YOU.

But the bottom line is?

The time.

Only the time can speak to us... when.

The time can only decide us... to meet.

The time is our most enemy.

But the time somehow can our be friend

But not only times... can do break us.

When the time come brought you and me

To the world of eternity

Baby I promise,

You and I...

Will be...

FOREVER.

Across Friendship

Across Friendship

by: Raymond Verana

The day has been set to write this letter from my Friend Juan David Hernandez.

My Across Friendship

Across the sky

Across the desert

Across the forest

Across the mountains,

Across the valley,

Across the land and island,

Across the sun and moon,

Across the day and night

Across the time and zone.

Tongues Out :P

Juancho

I found a new friend from the other side and that is YOU my little zombie Juancho. This is how difficult to understand how on earth that you and I became a friend and how the destiny should I add you on Facebook for the reason that I don’t know why. Hence, I want to thank God that I know you on behalf of yourself. Maybe it was sound vivid however God knows how lucky I am to find you. (hard to explain the feelings)

You told me about yourself and you trust me for your honesty, I confess mine too... you accept me for being who I am and I accept you for being who you are. We trust with each 

other. 

Let open the sky, to turn the star to be light, let the sun give heat the life, let us ride the time to see how beautiful the life on us. I am not afraid to fall the hope for us or the possibility to see beyond things. We’ve been in the labyrinth of this life and continue to find out this Journey. Let us fly because the sky is so high, to reach our dreams is a big come true.

Little Zombie :)

You are the one of a kind to speak me, as I worth you eye to eye like the two times colourful is a tough to discover.

Friends Forever

From this day and from the day we forward. You and I always be ACROSS FRIENDSHIP.

My 21 BRAVEST guns honour

April 16, 2016

my 21 honours'

Gumising ako ng may sama ng loob sa aking puso. Aaminin ko na hindi maayos ang pagkakatulog ko dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman. Una, Mababa si Daryll sa ESP subjek at hindi ko nakita iyon. Ikalawa, Nagtatampo si Ella kung bakit si Daryll ay napayagang mag-destinction kahit siya ay mababa sa ESP. Ikatlo, naiinis ako kay Sir Rhen dahil sa pagiging mababa niyang pagbigay ng grade sa Cluster B. Ikaapat, Utang-uta na ko sa sistema nararanasan ko sa pusang inahit na edukasyon sa aking trabaho bilang isang titser.

Young Archers

Namumugto ang aking mata dahil sa mga luhang iniyak ko kagabi. Matamlay ang umaga ko at paputol-putol ang bawat paghinga. Balisa ako ngayong umaga. Kailangan ko mahanap si Ms. Diana para mapabago ko ang grade ni Daryll. Nagkasalubong kami ni Mam Yolly, ngunit ayaw ko siyang kausapin dahil naaburido lamang ako sa kanya.

Hindi ko alam kung anong paraan ang gagawin ko sa 7B, ako mismo ay nahihirapan. Nagtatanong kung bakit nga ba ganito ang nais mangyari sa akin. Kailangan bang masaktan bago ka matuto? Bakit ganito ang buhay ng isang guro.

Masaya na akong makita ang mga anak ko sa 7B na sila ay pinaparangalan dahil sa kanilang hirap na ginagawa sa kanilang pag-aaral. Gusto kong masilayan ang kanilang mga ngiti na gumuguhit sa kanilang labi. Gusto kong marinig sa kanilang labi na sila ay nagagalak dahil sa gantimpala na kanilang nakamit at bunga ng pagmamalasakit sa kanilang pag-aaral at para sa kinabukasan ng ating bayan. Sila ang mga kabataaan na bubuo ng henerasyon para sa bukas.

Sir Mond feeling Proud :D

Pumunta kami nina Abeh at Julia sa Yellow Cab upang bumili ng pizza para sa 7B labis akong natuwa dahil kahit papaano naigala ko ang dalawa sa nalulugmok na sitwasyon na nangyayari sa ULS. Dahil nakakatamad panoorin ang isang kadamakmak na bata pinaparangalan na hindi mo naman alam kung nagpurisigido ba sa pag-aaral o umasa na lamang sa mataas na grade pero wala namang natutunan.

Gayunpaman. Humihingi ako ng patawad sa aking mga anak sa 7B na sana na maging bukas ang isipan nila sa mga pangyayaring nagaganap sa ating lipunan na ginagalawan. Huwag makakalimot na dalawin ako kahit sila ay Grade 8 na. Ipinagbubunyi ko ang karangalang natamo ninyo sa inyong pag-aaral. Mahal na mahal ko kayo mga anak 7B.

Let it go

Let it go

-A moment of Reflection this Lenten season.

March 26, 2016

I'll Start my expedition

1. Be brave- I have been fighting for many years to its ending and yet somehow I continue learning from this labyrinth of life. I learn that if I should go with my hesitation there is no something will happen but if you think that you can it will move you beyond on the probability of possibility, this is so leap of faith and no matter what it takes and no matter what the consequences brought it to you. You just lived on this infinite blue sky and this horizon of green battlefield. I am ready to let it go.

2. Believe- This is not the end of me... this is the beginning (hold on) T Do I need to be kind? Do I need to be bad? Do I need to be right or wrong? Do I need to be leader or follower? Do I need to be eloquence or listener? Do I need to be genius or to be fool? Do I need to be gentleman or to be rude? Do I... no... no more question Mond, Just believe in yourself, Just be YOU. I am ready to let it go.

Capacity to see beyond

3. Love- I know that I have been in love with some... (maybe we called it infatuation) Wishing I have new love. Wishing Yep that is mine. I know I have been in love with you since we’re college. The feeling is there, nothing change, nothing is faded, it still in my memory. I Love you. But if we are destiny to be of us, well Thank God you are the best gift that I have. But if God’s plan is not to be of us, then, I know I should accept it. Pipps, you are the wildest dream and the dream that want to come true. If you are happy with your partner then so be it and God knows that I am happy for you. I am ready to let it go.

4. Family- I know that we’re not a perfect family. Yes, I know, sometimes I wish I can redo what are my mistakes in my family. I cannot choose who I want to be my father, mother and even in my brothers. Well, accept them whoever they’re. I love them whatever or what for the reason. They’re family to be destined to myself. I love them. I am ready to let it go.

5. Light and Dark- I’m alive... everything is sound. One song says “We need the darkness to see the lightness”. Maybe God something has reason why this all happening to me. I am not perfect man but yet I tried to be just ME. 

YOUR NEXT STEP: INNER PEACE

YOUR NEXT STEP: INNER PEACE

MAY 11, 2015

“REMEMBER DRAGON WARRIOR, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU HAVE INNER PEACE.” MASTER SHIFU SAID TO PO (KUNG FU PANDA).

I DO BELIEVE THAT HAVING INNER PEACE IS ONE KEY TO BE SUCCESFUL IN LET. BUT LET ME FIRST DEFINE WHAT THE INNER PEACE IS. INNER PEACE REFERS TO A STATE OF BEING MENTALLY AND SPIRITUALLY AT PEACE, WITH SUFFICIENT KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING TO KEEP ONESELF TO BE STRONG IN THE FACE OF FRICTION OR STRESS. PEACE OF MIND IS GENERALLYI ASSOCIATED WITH HARMONY, HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT.

My LET Journey 2015

IN MY LET JOURNEY, I CAN SAY THAT IT IS A VERY THOUGH AND ROUGH COMPETITION WITH MYSELF: FAIL, PASS OR TOP. MANY CHANCES ARE I AM NOT BEING CALM AND NOT PEACE DURING THE PAST FEW DAYS OF MY LET. MY LET PREPARATION ACTUALLY STARTED WHEN I WAS A VOLUNTEER TEACHER IN BAGAC, BATAAN. I SPENT MY FREE TIME WITH THE NATURE BESIDE THE BEAUTIFUL SEA AND READING BOOKS UNDER THE TREE AND IT MADE ME CALM AND COOL. WHEN I WAS IN MINDGYM MY LEARNING WAS INCREASED, MY DRILLS TEND TO BECOME LOW AND HIGH. ACTUALLY, I’M VERY INTERESTED WITH MY BATCHMATE 2 (DEBATERS: CALLED OF OUR COACHES IN MY BATCH) I LEARNED FROM THEM. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I’VE HAVE REALIZED? SOMETIMES WE ARE TOO CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT WAS AND WHAT WILL BE. REMEMBER WHAT MASTER OOGWAY SAID: YESTERDAY IS A HISTORY, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY, BUT TODAY IS A GIFT THAT’S WHY IT IS CALLED PRESENT.

THE WAIT WAS AGONIZING, BUT EVENTUALLY AFTER LET ITS FOUND RELAXING. SO NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, GIVE YOUR BEST AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF BECAUSE THERE ARE NO SECRET INGREDIENTS TO BECOME SPECIAL - IT IS ONLY “YOU” TO MAKE SOMETHING SPECIAL. YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIVE IT’S SPECIAL.  NOW YOU MUST CONTINUE YOUR JOURNEY, DAWN IS COMING AND OPEN YOUR EYES, OUR WORLD IS WAITING… nO MORE EXCUSES, OK? LET IS YOURS, OWN IT! FULFILL YOUR DESTINY LETTERS’.

=RAYMOND M. VERANA (BATCH 2: AUGUST 2014)

Who are you - Kung Fu Panda 3

March 22, 2016

Who are you?

It is been one year and a month after I left my brotherhood in Lasallian Formation Center (LFC). I thought it was be my destined to become a brother, wearing black and white robe, rabath, and spending moment with my brotherhood and to the people ( I mean students, and randomly). I know that I am wounded, scar on my memory, and yet here I am still alive breathing every fresh air. The battle is not finish, I’ll keep on it and yeah I know I will be very a good man in this century and someday I will get there to finish my race.

Me and Br. Vince

I remember, when I am having redition to Br. Vince he always saying to me this lines “Who are you?” for me this is the difficult question for me, for which I do not know the answer, I am always lips-tighten... “Who am I?” I think the answer was very deep, buried in my heart that I don’t know myself... This is too much chasm that the question and answer are very agonizing and struggle on my past... Sorry Br. Vince I didn’t answer your most precious question with me... “Who are you?” Maybe someday, I will find that answer and when we met I will tell you everything to me. Thank you Br. Vince.

This is it :)

And now, after I watched Kung Fu Panda 3, the answer is still clear to me... maybe the water on me is not agitated to me anymore... to see myself or rather as my reflection of myself... I think I know who I am. Yesterday is a History (My experienced which define me now), Today is a gift (Today I am teacher), Tomorrow is a Mystery (that is very true, that I don’t have any idea what would be happen).

This is I am: I am student, I am student leader, I am honour student, I am awardees, I am volunteer, I filled my life with sweet and bitter, I am ex-brother, I am a TEACHER that make me who I am as RAYMOND MANLIGUEZ VERANA.